Andy, the Team Leader of CLARITY, shares his experience of the power of recovery from alcohol addiction. He’s passionate about challenging stigma around addiction and encouraging others to take that first step toward getting the right support they need.
From Dorchester, Andy is now 66 and enjoying retirement after a lengthy career in the Royal Navy, including 11 years flying helicopters from Portland. After leaving the Royal Navy as a Senior Officer, he worked in the manufacturing sector in London before retiring fully. But the transition left a deep void, and personal challenges, including bereavement, re-surfacing past trauma and family changes, led to a period of depression and alcohol use.
“I entered full retirement with no real plan. The timing coincided with my mother being taken into care with dementia, a failed marriage, and the death of my younger brother. My hopes of moving to France where I owned a house and of the life I wanted to live were dashed by Brexit. It seemed that in every direction, the paths I sought to follow were blocked by slamming doors; I could only see negatives. I went into a period of depression, old trauma from near-death experiences re-surfaced and like so many others in such situations, I allowed alcohol to join in. I just wanted to shut down to avoid being overwhelmed by failure and facing reality. In terms of prospects, I was still in a relatively very privileged position but completely blind to it. Instead of seeking help to exploit that potential, I remained in denial and because of the stigma of being labelled an alcoholic, I went to some extraordinary lengths and risked everything to conceal my drinking.”
A turning point came early this year when Andy underwent rehab.
“Fate decided to give me a huge leg up. The previous year, by chance, I had been reunited with a girlfriend from over 30 years ago. To be brief, we hit it off immediately and later decided to get married. My prospects for once looked very bright. Unfortunately, I was still dragging my mental baggage with me and done nothing about the attendant alcohol binge habit. One evening, I woke up at home in a terrible state surrounded by paramedics. When sobered up and seeing the pain and grief I had inflicted, I thought, that’s it—enough is enough. Three days later, I was in rehab and began my recovery journey. It wasn’t conditional. I caused it, I owned it, and I wanted it.”
Andy hopes that by sharing his story, others will feel more hopeful about recovery and be able to look beyond the stigma.
“The drag of shame, guilt, loss of self-esteem, overwhelming pessimism and the effects of addiction hold you in a vice and positive change seems impossible. You need help to see the way out. The common cliché of recovery involving sitting in a circle of strangers confessing you that you are an alcoholic is not much of a draw and does no justice to what is actually out there, if only stigma wouldn’t get in the way of you asking and being willing to finding out.
“My rehab treatment lasted two weeks and was not really a rehabilitation course, more a detox plus. It was, however, the help I needed to see the way out. I learned to accept the situation truthfully, that stopping drinking in the moment is the easy bit but staying that way needed a complete change of state of play. My past behaviour was a major cause of anxiety but there was nothing I could do to change history. I realised that the future is where it’s at and the power of recovery could be formidable.
“The day after leaving rehab, I went on the Intuitive Recovery Course hosted by REACH in Weymouth to understand the principles of addiction and its triggers. At home, I changed my daily routine and stuck to it. I shut out unnecessary distractions and avoided unproductive time alone. I created strict barriers and focused, for the first time in my life, on myself. I joined two recovery groups which appealed to me. They were non-judgemental and self-managed. The use of the terms ‘addict’ and ‘alcoholic’ are not allowed in session. The people in the groups were not strangers but a welcoming and honest community; several of them have become personal friends.”
Since stopping drinking, Andy’s outlook has transformed.
“If I were to score my outlook on life from 1 to 10, I’m trying hard to contain it to 10. Recovery so far has opened many doors, but the fundamental lever has been the recovery of lost productive time. Time and health are probably our most important assets, and if you snatch those back from the brink of doom, well you feel unstoppable.”
He’s learnt that recovery isn’t just about time and health, it’s about forgiveness and regaining trust, both in yourself and from others.
“The people that were worried about me, disappointed in me, distrustful of me are now the complete opposite, which is a nice feeling. And what some may not realise, is that those people will often forgive you far quicker than you'll forgive yourself. I am now comfortable with the legacy of my past.”
Andy is reconnecting with the things he loves and discovering new interests along the way.
“I've now got an appetite to do so many things I would never have thought of doing because I don't have to worry about hiding a drink, I don't have to worry about being in a fit state to be somewhere or with someone, or to drive. I like and own motorbikes and for too long I could rarely ride one, but now I do whenever I have the chance.
“I have started playing guitar again and taking lessons. I am building a workshop to fulfil a lifelong ambition to restore, repair and make things for pleasure.”
His now wife and family, peer groups, and CLARITY have been a huge support to his recovery journey.
“My new wife saw me at my worst and stood by me. She gave me the space to figure it out for myself. That made all the difference. I can't put it into words just how grateful I am to all my family and friends. Now, after all this help and support, I can give something back. I have the skills and experience to lead the CLARITY team to help build this community of lived experience to help others and to feedback to professionals. CLARITY is now a major commitment in my ongoing personal recovery.”
Andy’s message to anyone struggling is clear:
“Simple. Do the right thing when no one's looking. The power of recovery is formidable. If you can see past the stigma, the negatives all turn positive.”
Get support for alcohol use
Help is available for anyone affected by alcohol use, whether it's for yourself or someone you care about. REACH offers free and confidential support for individuals and families, including group workshops and tailored treatment options.
Contact REACH on 0800 043 4656 or use the referral form.
CLARITY – Dorset’s Lived Experience Recovery Organisation
CLARITY is a group of volunteers who are in recovery from drug and alcohol use. They offer peer support, signposting to local services, and provide community feedback to help shape more effective, inclusive services across Dorset through lived experience.
Contact CLARITY
Whether you're interested in joining CLARITY, supporting their mission, or seeking advice and support around recovery, email claritydorsetlero@gmail.com.